I fucken hate queues. I hate them so much.
You know queues at cash machines, thats a load of people who really want to spend money, but have been stopped from doing so. Some would say we're heading for a recession here in the 21st century, banks could boost the economy in seconds by making their machines give out money quick. Fuck fraud. The government hand out our personal details at every opportunity and banks already charge us through the nose, so fuck so that. When we want to spend money, don't make up wait for it.
Queuing up outside the Buffalo Bar for Twee As Fuck presents Ipso Facto, Liechtenstein, The Winter Club. Its cold and the queues not moving, its kind of stationary. It only moves very slowly, not because they are letting people in slowly, but because guestlist folk are escorted to another queue or people give up and fuck off to some other gig. Every so often the queue moves backward as folk push in, spotting their friends nearer the front. "Its not what you know, its who you know".
Listen to this
that is the sound of my pockets full of cash, I want to pay the girl on the door to let me in, I want to buy a few drinks, I want to watch some bands, maybe I want to buy some merchandise.
But I can't because I'm stood outside in the cold in a queue that isn't moving.
Imagine, hypothetically, in some crazy fucked up world, that I didn't go to gigs out of a rabid obsession with seeing as many bands as possible and then spewing my own vitriol and agenda online, but as some kind of social event, and rather than just seeing people at gigs socially, I'd seek to swell the size of the scene by bringing along my own, still hypothetical, friends.
"Aw man, you'd love this band" Sayeth me to hypothetical friend
"Ach, but we'd have to stand around for hours" quoth said hypothetical friend
"No no no, look at this graph..."
"... which clearly shows people expect bands to start half an hour after the Facebook quoted doors time, but actually the bands start an hour after the Facebook quoted doors time. (months of research went into this graph)"
"Wow Chris, you've convinced us. We ought to invite you out to the pub and parties and stuff more often, and I'm going to put a good word in about you to that girl you're scared of talking to."
Quick scene change to queuing up outside the fucking Buffalo Bar in the cold for ages. Hypothetical friends would turn to me and say something like "Chris, I'm going to stamp on your throat for this" and they'd be completely justified.
Twenty minutes outside in the queue without it actually moving, almost an hour after the doors time, and I give up and head home, musing briefly about the bands I've missed...
Liechtenstein, I saw them once before, at the Albany, thought they sounded like a girl-fronted Specials, kind of cute too. No idea about the other bands, The Winter Club and Ipso Facto, maybe I never will.
So apart from my cold getting a wee bit worse, the best thing about tonight's gig was that when I got home, I had thirty quid in my pocket! Fucken aye!!
Twee As Fuck
The Winter Club