Big in Japan: Gay Against You - Amersham Arms

Car radio-less, for the jorney over to New Cross I have in my head the dis-embodied voice of my mother from decads ago, warning me of the perils of going to gigs on school nights. Pah, I laugh in her face, for I went to a gig in Sheffield the other day, on a shcool night, pah again.

I enter the Amersham arms to find it full of fucking students. Not just anything fucking students, but damned Goldsmiths fucking students. I'd worn my scenester orange stripey jumper just in case, but its not match for the crowd tonight, they all look like folk for Driven By Boredom, or style magazines. Everyone looks like they're sucking in their cheeks.

All the people I know aren't here, except Gay Against You who I've seen a few times before, they're perched behind a merchy table by the door. That girl who looks like Jef in Glasgow is here and some cutie who looks like a younger Katrina House, I make eye contact and give her my winning smile, she runs. There's a girl wearing exciting eye make-up who looks really pissed off, I wondeer whether to ask her if she's an astronaut, but she vanishes before I have a chance.

Reappearing moments later as part of a three-piece cabaret act, waltzing through the audience in leotards with hula hoop rings, before conjuring a set of skipping ropes and luring unsuspecting Katrina House lookalikes to skip mid-dance floor.

The music thats been blaring out for the evening has been early nineties cheese-dance by the sound of things. A few people making shapes on the dancefloor, fucking students on E. I wonder how many retired pornstars are in the room.

Time passes and Gay Against You take to the stage.



The have technical problems with guitar noise, but eventually get going. Launching themselves out into the audience, half of whom try to start a fight, then leave in digust. The good-time fun of GAG isn't for them.



Eventually the crowd get into it, embracing the offered microphones to sing along and contribute their own lyrics. Joe on keyboards seems more reserved than usual, leaving most of the theatrics to Lachlann.

Gay Against You - The Old Blue Last

Once more into the breach dear friends, once more. and I'm back in London once again, only forty five quids worth of petrol, drove slowly to push the boundaries of fuel efficiency, when it would have saved the environment so much more if I'd just stayed in bed and sobbed to myself.

There's a strange dream-like quality to the evening, I arrive late at the Old Blue Last, still unsure what that means, but it does neatly fit in with the theme of the word Last which has dogged my muso career since university. I've missed whatever support acts there were and Gay Against You are hitting the stage.

Yup I've driven 406.3 miles to see a Glasgow band. Wee Joe who could be a twelve year old and his friend Lachy.

They make noise and they make a mess. I reckon they're glitch pop, some of their tunes on myspace are nice, but live, they're a different beast, noisier and less structured. Their live performance is a gimmick, they make a mess, with foam, paper, cardboard, chalk, whatever they can get their hands on, strangling theirs elves with mic leads, breaking their own necks leaping off of tables and writhing on the floor.

The crowd here are loving it, lapping it up, diving in and falling over. It'll stick in their heads but for how long, and is this what bands have to do to get noticed?

When they finish I sneak away, long drive home.

Why do I do it?

This whole project Last Night From Glasgow Indie Eyespy, instant gig reviews of gigs no one else writes about, well most of the time, its a failed mission. No spectacular hits, no huge income from google ads, less than $5 last month. Only one guestlist place. No new friends or life altering experience, just noisy disillusionment.

I wish I could be like Gay Against You. But I can't.